he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
