Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
