I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
