Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
His nipple licking is glorious
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