6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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