New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
