I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
