Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
