you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
