I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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