Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
