I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
