At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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