So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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