Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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