I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
