Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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