I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Your tits are I can't wait for
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
