Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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