Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
