So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Randomize
