I forgot how hot balto sounded
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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