Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize