I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
