I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
operation harelip BJ is a go
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize