life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
