I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
