Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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