dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
