Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
