I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
