ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
