And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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