One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
