I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
