just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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