kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
