Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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