i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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