Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
