Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I currently don't understand fingers.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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