If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
