She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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