I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
