Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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