come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize