Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
