I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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