Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
