Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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