I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
