We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
