real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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