My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize