I think i peed on brittanys purse
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
