dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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