i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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