so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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