Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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